Ben Casnocha: The Blog

The Wisdom of Colin Marshall

Colin Marshall is one of the best bloggers on the internet if you enjoy film and a damn good blogger even if you do not. His writing is clear yet stylish. His approach to life seems to entail a winning combination of seriousness and humor. The subtitle to his blog is, "Better living through writing, reasoning, self-engineering, renaissancemandom and suchlike." It is somewhat random but aren't those the most stimulating? He lives in Santa Barbara and is in his mid-20's. You could get lost in his archives for hours -- here are some of my favorites:

• Boredom: Only the boring get bored. "How interested I am in a person correlates almost perfectly with how infrequently that person experiences boredom." I should add this to my litmus test list for how to better predict potential rapport with a person. Just ask, "So, what do you do when you're bored?" It's a good sign if the person's response is a blank stare of confusion. It's a good sign if the concept of boredom is absolutely foreign.


• New Day: Do only new things for one full day.


• The "Would I respect me?" question that we should ask ourselves regularly.


• Escapism: First, John Updike: "The writer must face the fact that ordinary lives are what most people live most of the time, and that the novel as a narration of the fantastic and the adventurous is really an escapist plot...." To which Colin says, "if one finds that one needs to escape, then the opiate of outlandish fiction is just so much branch-hacking. What's really needed is a strike at the root, an attempt to repair whatever's gone wrong and made one's real life necessitate escape in the first place."


• Fourth estitis: I'm awarded line of the day for a bit I wrote about "cynicism as the cheap path to seriousness" in the context of student journalism and the challenge of being at once serious and self-mocking.


• On perfection. Embrace suckage. In other words, do stuff even if it seems shitty.


• Descriptors / phrases not to use in reviews. Authentic, boring, depressing, disturbing, pretentious, pointless, soulful/soulless.


• Why he didn't travel. Nine reasons why it took him so long to get a passport.


• Head-land. A long reflection on head-land vs. real-land. David Foster Wallace is quoted. It's similar to my post titled A Morning of Self-Consciousness and follow up post on meta-cognition.

His radio program Marketplace of Ideas has had some amazing guests (with one glaring exception -- me!). Here's his excellent Twitter feed. Here's his blog solely on movies.

Cal Newport and Ben: IM Conversation

Cal Newport is one of my favorite people. Although his "day job" is that of a PhD student in theoretical math at MIT, most of us know him as author of the Study Hacks blog, or freelance writer, or bestselling author.

In my ongoing quest to engage Cal's mind in new and interesting ways, I asked him if he wanted to shamelessly copy Tyler Cowen and Ross Douthat who recently took to the Instant Messenger airwaves.

He agreed, and the other day we chatted for 45 minutes online about whatever came to mind. A lightly edited transcript appears below. Let me know what you think of this format. Topics covered in order:

• Email habits / lifehacking
• Career pressures induce ill-advised certainty in college students?
• Why universities try do both research and undergrad teaching
• The MacArthur Foundation and funding creatives like David Foster Wallace
• Advice for those just starting college
• Whether you should focus on something while young, or experiment widely
• Temporary convictions Cal and I are acting upon
• The biggest problem in the world

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Ben:  So Cal, here we are on instant messenger. You have expressed concern about how email can be distracting. You don’t use Twitter because you say you don’t need yet another short-text distraction. Do you IM?

Cal:  Not intentionally. Though people occasionally find me on gchat. I don’t like the slow pace and partial attention. Do you?

Ben: No. Same. Slow pace, partial attention. I wonder whether I will flip to other windows during this chat, or just watch the screen say “Cal Newport is typing…”

Do you adopt 4HWW habits with email?

Cal: Not really. I don’t do auto-responders, and I check more than twice a day. The big thing I’ve done with my e-mail was move from a single inbox to multiple “mono-typic pigeon holes.”

Ben:  WTF is that?

Cal:  This is sort of the height of unnecessary life hackerish geekdom, but I’ll explain: all of my mail gets filtered into one label or the other, so my “inbox” is always empty. Also, all of my mail automatically gets tagged as read, so there’s no difference between read and unread messages

Ben:  Interesting. All marked as read. Why?

Cal: It prevents me from using my inbox as a big to-do list. Because I can’t really separate the new from the old, the easiest way to clean out a label (what I call a pigeonhole) is to actually have enough time to deal with everything and empty it out. If I read things quickly and then leave them in there, things get cluttered. It’s supposed to cut down on quick, attention-destroying glances at my inbox every 10 minutes.

Ben: A few weeks ago, I was interviewed for a documentary on lifehackers and the life hacking movement. Among other things I said that people who are big in life hacking tend to be a certain personality type.

Cal:  What type did you describe for the documentary?

Ben: Super detail oriented. Neurotic. Oddly, sometimes also big procrastinators — setting up sophisticated life hack infrastructure IS their time wasting device. There was a book a few months ago that came out that said sometimes a messy office is the most efficient. I.e., don’t over-optimize.

Cal:  I heard about that. The Perfect Mess, or something… I felt a little dirty, earlier, explaining my inbox setup. It’s something that was kind of useful — like buying a message pad for your phone — but I get uncomfortable focusing too much on those details. I wonder why this is…

Ben: OK. Shifting gears. One thing I’ve been thinking of recently is whether college students interested in journalism and politics, in order to stand out, must prematurely coalesce around a political party or established ideology, and hold certain to those beliefs, in order to get the appropriate internships at those publications.

This worries me because college is the time when you’re supposed to be uncertain and maybe proud of wishy-washiness — and yet uncertainty is often seen as counter to a sophisticated political understanding. Or even on the career front. Not knowing what you want to do in life is seen as bad, when in fact this is the one time when you ought to wander and be unsure. Thoughts?

Cal: This was on my mind when I received a recent e-mail from a Dartmouth student who just started his first semester as a freshman. He was worried that he had no specialized enough to be a computer science of physics major. In other words, to him, it was not just fixing on something right away at college, he had the impression that this decision had to be made much earlier…

It’s a challenging question. To do what I do — professional research — certainly requires specialization. I think the same probably holds for politics — intern over your summers! — or journalism — start working up the ranks at the school paper! And I often encourage students to focus, focus, focus…

Ben:  Right.

Cal:  But I can sense your hesitance…

Ben: Like, if you want to work for the National Review over the summer in college, you need to be bleed Red through and through. So any uncertainty or moderateness is beaten out of you. This is unfortunate.

Cal: Maybe not. If you want reward you need to be better at something than anyone you know. This requires focus. However, this is just one thing. For everything else in your life you can be open-minded. So, sure, the National Review guy is die hard conservative. But it’s probably healthy to have that voice in the conversation. For most other people, who are not focusing on writing for the National Review, they can be open-minded about politics.

Ben:  You earlier called yourself a professional researcher. Why do universities try to both do research and teach undergrads? Why in the world should you be distracted with TAing a class, or worse, a senior scientist who has to teach a class on the side instead of finding the cure for cancer?

Cal:  You sound like an MIT professor. Here's the thing that a lot of people don't pick up about elite level research, for many of these hot shots (or hot shot wannabes) teaching is a side show at best and distraction to be avoided at worst.

Ben:  So why have undergrads at all? Why not spin off MIT research group from the undergrads? The theory I guess is that undergrads derive some benefit from being in the holy presence of renowned researcher?

Cal:  They have almost done that. An MIT prof has to teach one class a semester, and one class each year can be a graduate level "seminar." Yes, I think you're right, it's good for undergrads to be taught by people who are tops in the field...even if they're not necessarily great lecturers.

Ben:  That's arguable. I just read this DFW remembrance. See this part: "He was an immensely gifted and original writer, with a brilliant, hyper-analytical mind. The two things such people should avoid are marijuana and universities." It says that after his first novel came out he spent the next 11 years teaching creative writing....and didn't write another novel. It argues that he got sucked into the university system which proved ultimately a distraction.

Cal:  For a writer... If you're a mathematician, for example, you're much better off at Princeton than a cabin in the woods.

Ben:  True. Most fields require facilities, colleagues, etc.

Cal:  Indeed. And to be fair, I do know many professors that do like to teach undergrads. Some get really into the challenges of pedagogy. (Myself included.)

Ben:  I find interesting the article's reference to "we need a new patron system" for creative people. It'd be awesome if there were 10 MacArthur Foundations!

Cal:  I agree. Otherwise, you do have to find these slots for yourself that might not be a great fit.

Ben:  The only viable slot for most is go teach at a university.

Cal:  Maybe I would be more useful to the world if my setup was more half-time writing and half-time doing research. This doesn't really exist.

Ben:  Should the New York Times be in a public trust?

Cal:  You mean, something large enough that could basically support the NYT, as is, with no advertising or revenue needed?

Ben:  Correct.  i.e, a non-profit. The MacArthur Foundation basically says, "People like DFW and other creatives are essential for a flourishing society, so we're going to support them and not have them worry about business model." Most news organizations spend tons of time thinking about business model as opposed to their main work and the question is their main work integral in some way to democracy or society or whatever?

Cal:  I like the MacArthur approach. Microsoft research labs is like that. So is the Institute for Advanced Studies in Princeton.

Ben:  Right. OK anything else we should discuss?

Cal: Last topic: advice for the college-aged. What would you tell an 18-year old arriving on campus about a college life well-lived?

Ben: First, read I Am Charlotte Simmons. Have you read it?

Cal:  We own it. My wife read it. I haven’t.

Ben:  You should. Especially given what you write about! My next piece of advice would be to focus on the “little things” — when and where you eat, meal plan, taking advantage of weather, having an ergonomic keyboard/chair, making sure your cell provider gets good reception in college campus, etc. Day in, day out, these little things make a big difference. Beyond that my advice becomes cliche — meet profs, have lots of sex, experiment outside your expected field of choice, etc.

Cal: What about the big question of “what should I do with my life?” As you know, my approach is sort of “there is no wrong answer, choose something and focus on it so you’ll start reaping rewards, you can always change later.”

Ben:  Your approach is similar to that great Andy Grove quote, “Act on your temporary convictions as if they were real ones, and when you realize you are wrong, change course very quickly.” The problem with what you said is “…you can always change later” is very, very hard. People have problems with sunk costs and inertia. That’s why I’m not a fan of “focus on something and start reaping the rewards.”

Cal:  Do you worry that on the other hand people get too hung up searching for some “right” path that doesn’t actually exist. Getting scared every time anything seems a little boring or annoying.

Ben: Maybe some search for the “right” path that doesn’t exist, sure. But the second thing you said, no. I think people tolerate waaaay too much boredom in their lives.

Cal:  Final follow-up: what are the temporary convictions, if any, in your life right now that you are taking seriously.

Ben: One conviction right now that I’m taking seriously is that travel is underrated and harder to do as one gets older, so I’m trying to travel as much as I can. You?

Cal: I’ve been a big believer in the 10,000 hour rule. Roughly, that being good at anything takes a long time. If you want to be good at something in your 20s, start in college. If you’re willing to wait until your 30s, you can start later. With this in mind, I’ve put my chips down on writing and solving interesting proofs.

Ben:  Interesting. What’s the biggest problem in the world right now?

Cal:  Unstable governments and massive inequity … which go hand in hand.

Ben:  I would say ‘poverty’ more than massive inequity. Inequality is not inherently bad

Cal:  We could put it this way: the low end of the scale is too low.

Ben:  Do either of your two main tasks - writing and solving proofs - solve this problem? Or do you think about that at all, i.e., world usefulness of your work?

Cal: Neither solves this problem. My writing, I hope, helps the small segment it targets. In some sense, I feel like that leverages my particular abilities to their fullest extent.

Ben:  With that, let’s call it a wrap!

Marty Nemko Enters the Blogosphere

My friend Marty Nemko has started a blog. Marty is a career coach, contributing editor to US News & World Report, and radio host in the Bay Area. Unlike a lot of "coaches" who are high on fluff and low on substance, Marty is a deep, provocative thinker who loves ideas and argument. Here's his Best Careers of '08 feature in US News. Here's his interview with me last year.

So far he's blogged on why work life balance is overrated and whether mommyhood should be afforded special privileges. Here's Marty on why gifted boys are getting screwed in our education system:

1. The widespread abandonment of ability-grouped classes. In most of today's elementary schools, gifted and slow are placed in the same class. That creates more equality--especially racial equality--but the result is that all children receive a worse education. Imagine for example, that you spoke good Mandarin but wanted to become expert. Wouldn't you prefer a class with advanced students rather than one that also had beginners? Yet today, we don't give smart kids (or their parents) that choice. We force them into mixed-ability classes, where dispositive metaevaluations reveal they learn less and are bored. And because, on average, boys are more active than girls, they more often can't sit still for six hours a day, five days a week, 180 days a year, year after year. Rather than the harder task of accommodating to smart, active boys' needs, countless teachers have urged parents to put these boys, long-term, on Ritalin--a meth-like drug.

2. That elementary school teachers are overwhelmingly female. Today, the percentage is up to 92%, the highest ever recorded. Even if teachers believe they're accommodating to all students' needs, they can't help but tilt their teaching to what appeals to them. Thus, books about male heroism are replaced by those of female relationships and heroines, typically in which an inferior male is shown-up by a wise female. Competition--a prime motivator for boys--is replaced by so-called "cooperative learning," which usually reduces to the bright doing the slow's work, boring the bright kid and precluding him from learning new things.

3. The media's continuing to perpetrate the myth that females are oppressed and males are the oppressor. For example, they continue to spout these disproven assertions:
-- women earn 79 cents on the dollar compared with men. In fact, according to the definitive book on the topic, Why Men Earn More, for the same work, women earn at least as much as men do.
-- women are underrepresented in high-level positions because of sexism. In fact, as documented in recent well-reviewed books such as Susan Pinker's The Sexual Paradox, women's not being in high-office comes much more from choosing to have a less work-centric lifestyle.
-- the schools shortchange girls relative to boys. (the long-debunked Reviving Ophelia canard.)
-- men abuse women--in fact, studies show that 30 to 52% of severe domestic violence is perpetrated by women.

Thus, the feeling among educators, policymakers, and the public, is that we need to do more for females than for males, ignoring such statistics that boys are achieving far worse in school than are girls, much more likely to abuse drugs, commit suicide, and drop out of high school, far less likely to graduate from college, much more likely, as young adults, to be sleeping late unemployed on their parents' sofas.

4. Society's bias that says: let's help those with the greatest deficit rather than those with the greatest potential to profit: "Those smart boys will do okay on their own. Let's commit our resources to the lowest achievers." I deeply believe that such a philosophy will reduce our society to the lowest common denominator, ironically resulting in a worse life for us all. Besides, it simply is unfair for the public schools to not provide at least a marginally appropriate education for all kids, and right now, smart boys get the very least appropriate education.

Every Saint Has a Past, Every Sinner Has a Future

Bekka Björke, a teenage girl I've gotten to know through blogging and email, occasionally posts very thoughtful blog entries about her life and mind. I'm consistently impressed by the intensity and originality of her thoughts. She's also a superb photographer. I expect big things down the road!

Her most recent post is titled Every saint has a past, every sinner has a future, in which she reflects on how others have reacted to her unconventional life choices. Anyone who chooses the road less traveled must face a constant barrage of second-guessing even by those who love you. Excerpt:

I’ve never claimed to be doing any of this living thing “right"... Dropping out of school, insisting on making a living as an artist, moving in with my boyfriend, my problems with alcohol from such a young age, all have seemed kinda unconventional to the people close to me (not that they really expect me to play by the rules, I’d rather take the pieces and make up something new) and even new faces I meet.

I don’t think I’m as crazy or fucked-up as people like to tell me I am. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m not. But it still stings when I hear from my parents, who’ve finally come to terms with my life choices and that couldn’t make me happier, the things the rest of my family has to say about me. Even my friends who probably know me better than I know myself question my actions. I appreciate their commentary, it’s obviously got a strong foundation, but I’m constantly wondering if I’m really doing things so wrong. Drugs are ancient history, as is alcohol for the most part. School is back in the picture, I’m working, I’m learning, I’m functioning as a more or less responsible adult. More importantly, I’m happy.

I’m not trying to repent. I’m not ashamed of things I’ve done, things I’m doing. If that were the case I wouldn’t be living as I do. Call it selfish to live in the pursuit of happiness, but I don’t care. Whether or not living like you’re 25 at the ripe old age of 17 is right or wrong is all subjective. If graduating high school, going on to get a *useful* college degree, living a straight life is what you value, fine, I can totally respect that. There will be no apologies on my end for taking school as an opportunity to learn instead of a necessity, for loving someone although my birthdate makes me obviously too naive to really know what I’m feeling, for having a passion for the arts and the mind that so many people scoff at.

For every critic out there, has your existence really been so perfect? Has every action been admirable and “correct?” And even if so, have you never started with the “what if…”s? This is a not a plea for everyone to throw away their suits and 9-5s, to pick up a paintbrush and leave their wives, no. This, if anything, is bunch of words written on a whim by a scared little girl with knit brows, insane devotion, and a deeply embedded set of morals. I’m not saying, even now, that I’m doing things right. But my lifestyle works. It feels right for me.

Here's my past post on her struggle with alcohol and another on "the inverse correlation between thinking and participating."

The Years Are Short

My friend Gretchen Rubin, of the Happiness Project, posted a great one-minute video titled "The Years Are Short." Awesome pictures of New York City with one of those relaxing soundtracks that always puts me at ease. Oh, and the idea that "the days are long, but the years are short" is worth remembering. Well done, Gretchen.

Heidi's New Venture: SkinnySongs

A year ago I went for a walk with Heidi Roizen around her house in Atherton. I was gearing up to head out to Colorado to hang with her Mobius partners, and she was pondering her next career move. She had various new business ideas, all fairly eccentric. A few months later I was back at her house because she was helping me with some stuff involving my book. When I asked her if she'd pursued any of her ideas -- or joined another venture capital firm or done something else -- she said she hadn't, but wanted to update me on her ideas over a workout. So we went down to her exercise room. I'll never forget the image: she, in workout clothes; me, in nice clothes (by my casual standards) sweating through it all trying to keep up both my heart rate and the conversation.

Fast forward to December, 2007 and I now see why we were chatting while working out: Heidi has taken action on her idea and launched a new company called SkinnySongs which will produce great pump-up music for women who want to lose weight. Heidi has partnered with some of the leading figures in the music industry to create professional, good natured music to listen to while exercising. Check out this fantastic Forbes profile on Heidi and SkinnySongs. This could be a great Christmas gift for a woman friend who's trying to lose weight. Available on Amazon.com (ignore the "only 1 left" message). It'll be on iTunes by Dec 15.

I've learned a lot from Heidi over the past few years and respect her a great deal, which is why I asked her to contribute a "Brain Trust" essay to My Start-Up Life (it's on page 11 for those following along at home). Succeed or fail financially, Heidi's new venture is a wonderful example to entrepreneurs of someone who's pursuing a genuine passion (music and exercise). You can feel the passion on the web site and in the songs. As the Forbes piece shows, it's also a good example of an entrepreneur scratching her own itch to understand a market and problem -- the bet is that others have the same itch and are willing to pay for it.

Congrats and good luck, Heidi!

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I love pump-up music. Here's a list of the 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational 80's Songs. I agree with their picks. Excerpt:

Nearly everything is unbelievably dangerous while listening to "Eye of the Tiger." Here’s a little exercise that illustrates perfectly what this song is capable of. Think of the weakest, most pedestrian chore you can do, for example, doing laundry. Now play "Eye of the Tiger" in the background. If, by the end of that spin cycle you haven’t managed to somehow kill a grizzly bear with fabric sheets or make sweet love to every woman within 40 yards, then you need to see a coroner because you apparently died the night before.

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Harvard Business School did a case study about Heidi awhile back. Some Berkeley researchers recently presented the case study to students but changed "Heidi" to "Howard" to see how a gender difference would change one's perceptions of her assertive style. Slate has a brief write-up halfway down the article.

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I worked with Heidi on the Heroes project of the National Center for Women and Information Technology. We sought out some of the most interesting and successful women doing work in IT. Lucy Sanders and Larry Nelson interviewed them as podcasts. Check them out here -- loads of inspiration for any woman (or man) looking to have an impact in the field of computing.

Ramit: Part Frat Boy, Part Silicon Valley Geek

Today's San Francisco Chronicle did a great profile of my good friend and superstar in the making Ramit Sethi. Money graf:

Sethi's style is part frat boy and part Silicon Valley geek, with a little bit of San Francisco hipster thrown in. At times, he can be downright juvenile, as when he titled a blog anthology "Ramit's 2007 Guide to Kicking Ass."

It's about Ramit's popular blog I Will Teach You To Be Rich.

A few years ago I made a conscious effort to meet more young people involved in business, writing, or politics. I wanted to have more friends closer to my age who were on a similar professional trajectory.

Ramit has been one of the people I've gotten to know well. We have a lot of overlap: we're close in age (25 and 19), we've both founded tech companies, we've both written books and endured the publishing industry, we both write blogs, we both do paid speaking, and we both are social, have fun and think about "life stuff" like relationships. Our exchanges are almost 100% bi-directional in value -- we help each other in all sorts of ways. This is a rare thing in a friendship but almost certainly the most rewarding state. Peer mentoring, of sorts.

Starting out in the professional world, I spent time almost exclusively with more experienced adult entrepreneurs. Their mentoring and guidance proved invaluable. But now I find myself growing more by spitballing with guys like Ramit and other age-similar peers who don't have the "wise answers" of a conventional mentor, but at least are wrestling with the same questions in real time.

Congrats, Ramit, on the well-deserved coverage.

When Your Passion Becomes Your Livelihood and Other Ideas from Tim Ferriss

Last night, after an enjoyable dinner at the Rio with some of the Mobius crew, I chatted on the phone for an hour with Tim Ferriss. Tim, 29, is a Bay Area-based, remarkably down-to-earth serial lifestyle entrepreneur:

• Princeton University Guest Lecturer in Electrical Engineering and High-Tech Entrepreneurship
• No-Holds-Barred Cage Fighter, Vanquisher of Four World Champions
• Speaker of Six Foreign Languages: Japanese (learned in three months), Chinese (learned in one month), German, Spanish, Italian, and Korean
• First American in History to hold a Guinness World Record in Tango
• Trainer and Advisor to more than 30 World Record Holders in Professional and Olympic Sports
• Nutriceutical Designer and Glycemic Index Researcher
• National Chinese Kickboxing Champion
• Political Asylum Researcher and Activist
• Knight and Ordained Minister
• MTV Breakdancer in Taiwan
• Speedo Model in the Hamptons
• Actor on Hit TV Series in China and Hong Kong

Jesus, can you get any more average and boring than that?!

Among other delightful topics of conversation, Tim made the point about the risk of turning your passion or hobby into your primary income-generating activity. Just like you're less likely to enjoy a book that is assigned to you in school, you're less likely enjoy the work you're doing if it's livelihood. John Amaechi, the ex-NBA athlete who came out of the closet, noted that many NBA stars don't even enjoy basketball by the time they're in the pros. As career advice, this is counterintuitive ("Find your passion and then get paid for it!"), and I don't know if I agree, but it made me think, which is most important.

Tim's book, The Four Hour Work Week: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich, comes out April 24. I'll be checking it out. Here's his blog.

I continue to be in awe and totally humbled by some of the folks who are part of my life, even in the smallest ways. Some of it the result of effort -- I work hard on my "people flow", some of it sheer luck. Either way, a good reminder for me that the world is full of interesting and amazing people -- the key is to be open to finding them.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

I was standing at the urinal on Saturday at Keystone Snow Resort in Colorado and the Beatles song, "With a Little Help From My Friends" started playing on the speaker. I thought to myself, "How appropriate."

After all, were it not for my surrogate parents here in Boulder, Brad Feld and Amy Batchelor, I wouldn't have been in Keystone to begin with, let alone embark on my very first ski lesson!

With Amy's expert guidance I visited a ski mountain for the first time in my life, joined a group lesson, and had a blast. I made it to "level 3" which meant I could ski downhill and go side-to-side. I was, I confess, the best newbie in the group. Chalk up another new life experience!

My weekend in Keystone, skiing and all, reminded me of a principle that never seems to fail: people first, the rest takes care of itself. I'm fortunate to be hanging with an awesome group of people. Whether it's being given an all-day tour of Boulder on day 3 by the de facto mayor, Brad, or enduring the intellectually humbling experience that is extended time in a car, living room, and dining room table with Chris Wand (who, in addition to being 10x smarter than me, is also hilarious), every day provides its share of new people who are each living life their own way.

Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends. So thanks, friends.

Friends of Ben: Kai Chang

Name: Kai Chang

Network: Ben Casnocha --> Cold call to me -- > Kai Chang

Google Search: "Kai Peter Chang"

See other Friends of Ben profiles

Within two minutes of talking to Kai Chang on the phone I picked up on how sharp he was.

For one, his listening skills blew me away. He asked terrific questions, responded thoughtfully, and engaged in a real two-way conversation. I was really impressed. I think good listeners are few and far between. We set up a time to have lunch the following week and I then got to witness Kai's tremendous in-person charisma and energy.

Kai is a financial advisor here in the Bay Area. But calling him a financial advisor sells him short. He's a life entrepreneur in the truest sense of the world. He's an insatiable reader. Excellent impersonator (and humorist -- see his Apple Switch Ad spoof). Thoughtful businessperson. Our conversation yesterday flowed smoothly from technology to relationships, from psychology to personal finance. Not only was I in the flow -- an hour and a half felt like a couple minutes -- I also had scribbled so many notes in my pad that later that night I thought to myself, "I could write 10 blog posts on all this stuff."

What can we learn from Kai? First, energy matters. In his about page he says, "I have...the energy of a nine-year-old on Christmas morning wired up on two liters of Coca-Cola and a box of Chocolate-Frosted Sugar Bombs." Second, being a good listener pays. In his own words again, "[I'm a] freakishly effective listener/interviewer: people are unnerved at how easy it is to tell me secrets within days (or sometimes hours) of meeting me that they've kept from loved ones for years." Third, remember the T -- go deep in one thing, but have broad knowledge. Kai's deep point is financial advice -- and nobody minds a good tip on how to manage their money -- but his reading has made him an able conversationlist on many topics.

My relationship with Kai started from a simple cold call he made to me. Just goes to show that randomness can produce excellent connections. Extraordinary people are everywhere. Be open to finding them.

Friends of Ben: Maria Pacana

Name: Maria Pacana

Network: Ben Casnocha -- > This Blog --> Maria Pacana

Google Search: Maria Pacana

See other Friends of Ben profiles

One of my favorite things to do when traveling overseas is to talk with American ex-pats who are fully integrated into the local culture. I recommend this tactic for all Americans traveling internationally. I can usually do this via my blog, since I have readers in many countries and they may be ex-pats or know ex-pats.

In Tokyo I had dinner with blog reader Maria and her friend Jake. Maria is a recent college grad from U.S. now living in Tokyo. She picked up Japan in a year (pretty incredible) and now works in-house at a law firm translating patent applications from English to Japanese. She studied electrical engineering at Yale but is now pursuing a part-time MBA from McGill while doing her translation work.

Maria knew of my interest in journalism and invited her friend Jake to dinner. Jake is a muckraking journalist who's lived in Tokyo for 15+ years. An exchange program with a Tokyo university opened Jake up to the world of Japan, he loved it, and has since developed an awesome track record of covering Tokyo's vice / police blotter for a newspaper here. Jake has a book coming out next year on what it's like being an American living overseas covering Tokyo vice.

Maria is a super impressive person. In our two hour dinner I was struck: She's ambitious yet humble, engages seriously with the world yet seems to enjoy it, and...it happens to the best of us...tries to find the willpower to blog. Jackie Danicki once told me she's genuinely surprised when she meets someone interesting who doesn't have a blog. So I'm glad Maria is working on her blog 100k by 25, a quasi personal finance / quasi living-in-Japan blog. All in all, Maria is an example of the kind of personal growth someone who's achieved a lot of success at home can have with an international adventure.

In reflecting on our dinner which I so enjoyed I realized that not once has a meeting with a blog reader let me down. I'm humbled and astonished at the caliber of the readers of this blog who reach out to me.

Maria -- thanks for a great dinner -- please stay in touch!

Tyler Cowen on My College Process

One of my intellectual heroes, Tyler Cowen, a professor and "Economic Scene" columnist in the New York Times, has some kind words and observations on my college admissions experiences on his must-read blog. Thanks, Tyler.

Tyler's breadth of interests makes him one of the most provocative public intellectuals. Here's my review of his book Creative Destruction, here's a long debate I hosted on independent book stores based on one of Tyler's articles, here are my notes from Tyler's talk in Zurich this past summer.

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Friend of Ben: Bernadette Balla

Last week I got an email from a blog reader who said she was 24 years old and had recently moved to San Francisco from Malaysia to pursue an MBA. In her email she said Malaysia is not friendly to ambitious women, nor is it friendly to entrepreneurial thinking. Moreover, there was an expectation that she should either become a prostitute or "find a man and become a wife." She started reading this blog from Malaysia and, hearing about my own adventures as a young entrepreneur, found inspiration in the possibilities that can await people who go off the beaten track. She wrote about me in her business school application, was accepted to Golden Gate University, and as of two days ago, is now taking night classes at GGU and interning at a technology company by day.

I asked Bernadette if she wanted to have lunch at my favorite crepe place down the street. We talked about the challenges of adjusting to a Western culture that's more individualistic, confrontational, and brash than the East. We talked about what it's like to live in a place where you don't have roots -- forming deep relationships is tough. We talked about the lack of a "guidebook" for aspiring young entrepreneurs.

I'm extremely impressed with what Bernadette has already done. She escaped an oppressive culture, defied expectations of what a young woman can or should be, found a place to live and place to study in a foreign country (Silicon Valley no less), developed fluency in English (along with Malaysian, Indonesian, and Cantonese), and most important, is being proactive in reaching out to people who can help.

I'm certain there are many Bernadettes scattered across the globe...But they do not have the good fortune of growing up in the most entrepreneurial region in the world (like me), or perhaps the resourcefulness to leave family and friends (like Bernadette). How can we help those equally deserving people?

When I got home I introduced Bernadette to some people I thought she would like knowing, sent her some book recommendations, and promised to help in any way I can. I expect we'll hear a lot more from her in the coming years...

Bernadette -- Go for it!

A Blog Chronicling the Fight to Survive Ovarian Cancer

My friend Carl Johnston, a successful angel investor and another person in my life who's been so kind with his encouragement and advice to me, recently told me his close companion Suzanne Robles is fighting ovarian cancer.

Suzanne set up a blog to chronicle her journey fighting the cancer. She had some issues with the blog, so Carl asked me to help her. I did, and I suggested she dump Wordpress and move to Blogger.

Now she's up and running and her posts are honest, emotional, and gripping. She just posted about a devastating visit to the doctor. She received a frank assessment from the doctor followed by this:

She STRESSED...you must only have JOY in your life. If you wanted to travel do it now. What ever it is do not wait. You are feeling good now, but later on you wont be. This is going to be a difficult battle.
It made me realize that I was thinking, ok about 6 months of chemo and then Ill start doing things I want to do. She stressed over and over-do it now.

I am humbled by Suzanne's bravery to be so public about such an enormous fight and private matter. Her relentless positive outlook will be an inspiration to others, cancer survivors or not.

London Party to Celebrate the End of My Travels

My friend Jackie Danicki pulled off quite a feat Saturday night, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised given the generosity of all my blog readers this trip, especially Jackie.

About 20 people filed into the Chelsea / London home of blogging gurus Adriana Lukas and Perry de Havilland for a long night of drinks, food, and conversation in party timed to celebrate the conclusion of my seven week Europe tour. Though not a lot of diversity in political views, there were fun and interesting personalities. Josh Hanna, an American now in London running the UK operation of Ancestry.com, and I had a great time watching the impressive Damian Counsell debate the personal expense account of Sherry Blair. I have a video clip, but I don't think the language therein is appropriate for this G-rated blog ("rubbish" this and "rubbish" that). Page Sands reminded me that a master's in e-business still exists and can be useful, and Antoine Clark confirmed and disputed some of my impressions of France. Other good chats abound.

Jackie posted a funny spread of photos from the night which ends in a digitally altered image to highlight the greedy, blood-sucking, 3rd-world-exploiting capitalist bastards we are. Other photos at Flickr. Thank you Jackie for organizing the great party and to Perry and Adriana for hosting!

(Me in foreground below. Notice upright posture, combed hair, and stylish business shoes. Yeah, I try.)